As some of you may know, I’ve been spending the last couple of months researching and creating for my new show THE CURE FOR FEAR. This has lead me down a path of research around trauma and what it means for white people to decolonize. This decolonization work informs my art in protocol and process, through awareness and understanding. It doesn’t always show up ON THE NOSE in form and prose- but it’s in there because it is in me. I am becoming more and more aware of my invisible privilege and how to better support BIPOC folks and find ways to shift our power structures.

Here is my research video from this week. This one is a reflection of our patriarchal standards and social pressures to have our appearance be a certain type of “BEAUTIFUL”.

For much of my life I was so ashamed of the way I looked that it immobilized me. I shut myself up and kept small. I know I’ve written about this before-

“Shaming is one of the deepest tools of imperialist white supremacist capitalist patriarchy- because shame produces trauma, and trauma often produces paralysis.”-

Mysha T (From Check your Priviledge)

Yes, I was ensnarled by the capitalist patriarch- right where they wanted me- buying and trying and too preoccupied to speak up. So instead of building on my strengths and celebrating my uniqueness, I spent so much energy hating myself and buying and dieting and exercising. I tried SO HARD to be beautiful. If only I knew then that it’s not appearance which makes one beautiful.

Oh my chin. How much self suffering I have made over this teensy part of my entirety. What a gift that I can find lightness around what was once so horrendous to me. I hope this video brings some joy to you- and I hope you feel beautiful in your soul.


  • CKYOURPRIVILEGE – an amazing resource of anti-racism education for white folks.
  • M̓i tel’nexw Leadership – I am deeply considering this leadership program- it starts on THURSDAY but if you miss it, there will be another one in April.
  • THE BLACK LIST– click it- from @arsenalpulp. They write:

February is #BlackHistoryMonth, and while every month is the perfect time to read, buy, and support Black creators, we hope you take this time to renew your commitment to an anti-racist future

Black Lives Matter. Black stories are essential. Here is a list (a starting point, not comprehensive) of books by Black Canadian authors writing across multiple genres (many, but not all, are also from Canadian publishers). Black writing and storytelling is vital to the work of resistance and building a better world, and we urge you to continue to Do The Work and Do The Reading along with us.

from THE BLACK LIST @arsenalpulp
  • Thank you for reading “THE BONES”- a process report of art and decolonization.

THE CURE FOR FEAR” – is a physical theatrical/ digital arts exploration around the disconnection that occurs from trauma. In a world where the power holders would have us privatize and distrust our feelings in silence and obedience, how does one begin and continue on a journey of decolonization and reconnection? What transformation happens within the psyche as a person emerges from despondency and disembodiment?

I am always open to feedback, and corrections if it is constructive and kind. No haters please. candicerobertstheatre@gmail.com

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